ABC of Mental Health

Hello! Welcome to another edition of the ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better mental health — one newsletter at a time. This week’s theme is family (especially in the context of festivities). We bring it to your inbox this Thursday to make your Thursday a little therapeutic!  

One Relevant recommendation

It Didn’t Start With You (Book, 2016)

The book by Mark Wolynn, (a leading expert on inherited family trauma), is a transformative exploration into the intricate web of family dynamics. It delves deep into the impact of generational trauma, offering profound insights into the roots of our behaviours and emotional patterns. Through compelling stories and therapeutic strategies, Wolynn guides readers on a journey of self-discovery and healing. This book is a beacon for anyone seeking to understand the profound influence of familial connections, that shape our present and future and also provides practical tools to break free from inherited patterns.

Two Quotes on Connections and True Family

Jane Howard, an American journalist, emphasizes the universal need for connections—be it a clan, network, tribe, or family—by blood or by choice: 

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”

Richard Bach, author and pilot, illuminates the essence of true family bonds—a connection that can sometimes go beyond mere lineage:

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.”

Three TherapyShorts by TST

Navigating family dynamics, especially during festivities, can be difficult. Here are three recommendations from our team of therapists:

1. Set Realistic Expectations: One common source of stress during festivities is the expectation that everything should be perfect or that family interactions will be flawless. A therapist might advise setting realistic expectations. Families are diverse, and not every interaction will be picture-perfect. Understanding and accepting this can help reduce the pressure and disappointment that may arise if things don't go exactly as planned.
   

2. Establish Boundaries: Festivities can sometimes lead to conflicts or stress, especially when individuals feel overwhelmed or pressured. Therapists often advocate for the establishment of healthy boundaries. This may involve setting limits on the amount of time spent with family, being mindful of personal needs, and respecting the boundaries of others. By clearly defining and communicating boundaries, individuals can strike a balance between celebrating together and taking care of their own well-being.
   

3. Remember to lean on your chosen family: Chosen family often extends beyond traditional familial structures, creating a sense of community. During festive times, when emotions can be heightened, the presence of a supportive chosen family can serve as a stabilizing and comforting factor. For individuals who may feel misunderstood or unsupported by their biological family, chosen family members can offer validation, understanding, and a non-judgmental environment where individuals feel free to be themselves.

Love and light,

The Social Therapist

PS: If you found this helpful, consider following us on Instagram