Finding Gratitude When Life Feels Unfair

Hello! Welcome to another edition of ABC of Mental Health, your companion on the journey to enhanced mental well-being—one newsletter at a time. This week, we delve into the transformative practice of finding gratitude during life's challenging moments. When circumstances seem unjust or overwhelming, embracing gratitude can be a powerful tool to shift our perspective and foster resilience.

If you find this edition helpful, feel free to share it with someone who might benefit from building gratitude  😊

One relevant recommendation:

Building a Resilience Jar
Resilience isn’t just about overcoming struggles – it’s about recognising the small ways you show up for yourself, even in the hardest moments. Find a container or use a digital space to record these moments: a small but meaningful win (“I got out of bed even though it was hard.”), a moment of courage (“I set a boundary I was afraid to enforce.”), or a lesson learned (“This challenge showed me I can rely on myself.”). On difficult days, revisit these reminders – not to force gratitude, but to honour your strength and the ways you’ve cared for yourself through it all. 

Two Quotes on Gratitude, Resilience and Coping:

Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, on finding meaning in suffering:
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

Melody Beattie, author and self-help expert, on the transformative nature of gratitude: "Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity... It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

Three TherapyShorts from TST

1. Gratitude And Grief Can Coexist
   Contrary to popular belief, two seemingly opposite emotions can be true at the same time. We can feel sad over losing something/someone significant however we also feel grateful to acknowledge the joy it often brought us. Gratitude is not about being thankful for the loss itself but recognizing it’s meaning and impact on us. It doesn’t force a positive outlook rather it allows us to make space for both feelings. For example, "I feel heartbroken that this relationship ended, and I’m also grateful for the love I experienced." Reflect: What emotions feel in conflict for you right now? How can you let them both exist without pushing one away?
   

2. Gratitude Can Be Small And Still Meaningful
   Gratitude in tough times is not about denying hardship but about widening our awareness. When life feels overwhelming, gratitude does not have to be something big or forced. It is not about ignoring pain but about noticing moments that offer even a little relief. It could be the sound of a familiar voice, a kind message from a friend, or the feeling of fresh air when you step outside. These small moments remind us that support, connection, and care still exist, even during difficult times. Take a moment to reflect: What is one thing today that brought you even a little bit of comfort? If nothing comes to mind, is there something you can do for yourself that might offer a small sense of ease?

3. Mindful + Flexible Gratitude (aka remembering you’re human!)
   When gratitude is forced, it can invalidate a person's lived experience. Practising gratitude mindfully allows us to build emotional flexibility. Recognising what we are grateful for does not mean we have to excuse harm or minimise what is difficult. Instead, it allows us to acknowledge the full truth of our experience. For instance, a survivor of trauma may be grateful for their resilience while still grappling with the pain of what they endured. Gratitude does not erase our struggles, but it can make space for acknowledging the people, skills, or moments that help us get through them.

A QUESTION?

Which small act of gratitude feels easiest for you today? Vote here!

Last week, we asked you what helps you manage intense emotions, and the responses were… (drumroll please)…

Love and light,

The Social Therapist

PS: Virtual cuddles

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