How To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Stress

Hello! Welcome to another edition of ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better well-being—one newsletter at a time. Do you often feel heavy after being around others – even when nothing happened to you? In this, learn how to stay connected without carrying what isn’t yours.

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One relevant recommendation:

Video on Empathy vs Enmeshment (2 minute watch)

This super short video explains the difference between empathy and enmeshment. While empathy means feeling with someone while staying grounded in yourself, enmeshment happens when you take on others’ emotions as your own. It highlights how healthy empathy allows connection without losing your emotional boundaries.

Two Quotes on Handling Other People’s Stress:

Kiki Ramsey (author of Get Courageous Now: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Passions and Purpose in Life) emphasises the importance of setting boundaries:

"I learned not to care more about others’ problems than they do."

Brooke Bardin, therapist, provides a technique that helps foster a compassionate response:

"Visualising frustrating individuals as young children increases my patience and empathy."

Three TherapyShorts from TST

1. Recognise What’s Yours—and What’s Theirs
   One of my clients, a school teacher, would often come home feeling “weighed down” after listening to her students’ struggles. In therapy, we practised pausing and asking: “Is this mine to carry?” That simple question became a powerful filter. When you're naturally empathetic, it's easy to internalise others’ emotions. But developing emotional boundaries isn’t cold—it's compassionate toward yourself. Try visualising a container where you mentally “set down” what doesn’t belong to you.
   

2. Build an Emotional Transition Ritual to Protect Your Energy
   After a particularly intense therapy session, I often take a few minutes to reset—lighting a candle, listening to a song, stretching, or even just sipping water intentionally. One client who worked in healthcare began using a similar technique: before entering her home, she’d sit in her car for five minutes and journal a few lines. Creating these small rituals helps your nervous system switch gears and discharge borrowed stress. It’s not about avoiding others’ emotions—it’s about not dragging them into every space.
   

3. Learn to Hold Without Absorbing
   Another client once told me, “I feel like an emotional sponge. I know someone is upset even if they don’t say it, and then I carry it all day.” Together, we worked on grounding practices and a mantra: “I can witness without carrying.” This shift helped her remain compassionate without internalising everyone’s distress. If you relate, try grounding through sensation—pressing your feet into the floor or focusing on your breath—anytime you feel someone else’s stress creeping in. Presence, not absorption, is the goal.

A QUESTION?

Your emotional battery runs out fastest when... 
Vote here!

Last week, we asked you what was the one thing you believe is most true about therapy, and the responses were unanimous for once… (drumroll please)…

Love and light,

The Social Therapist

PS: Boundaries!