Navigating Friendship Breakups: When Bonds Break

Hello! Welcome to another edition of the ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better mental health — one newsletter at a time. This week’s theme is Navigating Friendship Breakups: When Bonds Break. We bring it to your inbox this Thursday to make your Thursday a little therapeutic!

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One relevant recommendation:

Tips for Healing After a Friendship Breakup: Just as with romantic breakups, the end of a friendship can be painful and confusing. Here are a few steps to help you process and heal:

• Allow Yourself to Grieve: It’s normal to feel sadness, anger, or even relief after a friendship ends. Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment.

• Reflect on the Relationship: Think about what worked and what didn’t. This reflection can help you understand your needs in future friendships and what boundaries you might need to set.

• Seek Closure: If possible, have an open and honest conversation with your former friend to gain closure. If that's not possible, writing a letter you don’t send or talking it out with a trusted confidant can help.

Two quotes on Friendships:

Maya Angelou, an American poet and civil rights activist, spoke about the nature of relationships:

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

C.S. Lewis, British writer and lay theologian, on the pain of losing a friendship:

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.' And losing that can feel like losing a part of yourself."

Three TherapyShorts from TST

1. Understanding the Pain: Friendship breakups can be deeply painful, sometimes even more so than romantic breakups. For example, if you've shared years of experiences, secrets, and support with a friend, the sudden absence can feel like a void. Recognize that it’s normal to grieve this loss. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, or confusion without rushing the process. You might find it helpful to journal your feelings or talk to a therapist about what this friendship meant to you and why its end is affecting you so deeply.

2. Rebuilding Your Support System: When a close friendship ends, it can feel like you’ve lost a significant part of your support system. For example, if your former friend was the person you always turned to in times of need, you might feel lost without them. This is the time to lean on other friends, family members, or even coworkers. Reconnect with people who care about you—maybe schedule regular catch-ups with a sibling or join a community group where you can meet new people. Building a new support system can help fill the gap and provide the emotional safety net you need.

3. Moving Forward: After processing the breakup, it’s important to think about what you want in future friendships. For instance, if the friendship ended because of repeated disrespect or crossed boundaries, reflect on what boundaries you need to set moving forward. Perhaps in your next friendship, you’ll be clearer about your needs or communicate more openly. This reflection helps you not only heal but also prepare for healthier, more fulfilling friendships in the future. You might even consider writing down these reflections as a guide for what you’re looking for in your next close friend.

A QUESTION?

Have you ever experienced a friendship breakup? How did you cope? Share your thoughts with us!

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Love and light,

The Social Therapist