The Power of Saying No

ABC of Mental Health

Author

Shiromi Chaturvedi
January 16, 2025

Hello! Welcome to another edition of the ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better mental health—one newsletter at a time. This week’s theme is The Power of Saying No—a small but mighty phrase that can transform your relationships, energy, and overall well-being.

One relevant recommendation:

Practice the “Pause and Assess” Rule: Before committing to something, take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

  • Does this align with my priorities?

  • Will I have the time or energy to do this?
    This short pause helps you respond intentionally rather than react out of guilt or pressure.

Two Quotes on Being True to Yourself and Saying No:

Oprah Winfrey, talk show host and philanthropist, on boundaries:
“You have to find a way to make peace with saying no. Because there is a cost to saying yes to everything.”

Dr. Gabor Maté, renowned physician and speaker, on self-respect:
“Every time you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no,’ you disconnect from yourself. To heal, you must honour your limits.”

Three TherapyShorts from TST

  1. Saying No is a Form of Self-Care:
    When you say no to something that drains your energy, you’re saying yes to your well-being. For example, declining a last-minute work project when you’re already overwhelmed can help you avoid burnout and maintain balance. You may not be used to prioritising yourself or even taking care of yourself, but you too deserve care.

  2. No Doesn’t Require an Explanation:
    “No” is a complete sentence. While it might feel natural to justify your decisions, remember that you’re not obligated to explain your choices. For instance, “I’m not available for that” is polite and firm without unnecessary details. Again, culturally, it may seem disrespectful to say no, especially to elders but please remember your intent is not to disrespect or hurt others but just to honour your boundaries.

  3. Start Small to Build Confidence:
    If saying no feels daunting, begin with less stressful situations or with people who won’t react negatively. For example, practice declining a second helping at dinner or politely turning down a casual invite. The more you do it, the more empowered you’ll feel to assert yourself in bigger scenarios.

A QUESTION?

What makes it hardest for you to say no?

Last week we asked you, How do you plan to set your intentions for 2025, and the responses were… *(drumroll please)*

Love and light,

The Social Therapist

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