To Be Loved Without Anxiety (& How to Get There)

Hello! Welcome to another edition of ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better well-being.

For many of us, love hasn’t always felt safe. Maybe it’s felt like walking on eggshells, second-guessing texts, or wondering if you’re “too much”. But love doesn’t have to feel like a guessing game—it can feel calm, steady, and grounding.

This week, we’ll explore what it’s like to be loved without anxiety—and the steps to get closer to that kind of connection.

Click here to share it with someone on your WhatsApp list needs to be loved without feeling anxious too! ❤️ 😊

One relevant recommendation:

The Attachment Check-In: Sometimes love feels like a game because we’re guessing what the other person feels or needs. A secure bond grows when we replace guessing with gentle curiosity. Try this simple practice with your partner (or even with a close friend/family member):

1. Ask directly: “On a scale of 1–10, how connected do you feel to me this week?”

2. Listen without fixing: Just hear their answer, even if it’s “low.”

3. Share your number too: Let them into your inner world.

4. Choose one small repair: Maybe a walk together, an uninterrupted talk, or a silly shared ritual.

Over time, these small check-ins build the consistency and openness that make love feel safe—not like a game of chasing or withdrawing. 

Two Quotes on Emotional Regulation & Strength:

Dr. Sue Johnson, creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, on what real love feels like:

“The strongest love is built on the smallest moments of safety and connection.”

Maya Angelou, poet and activist, on resilience in relationships:

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

Three TherapyShorts from TST

1. Safe Love Isn’t “Too Much”

   If you grew up fearing rejection or inconsistency, love might have felt like a test. That’s why safety can feel suspicious at first. Secure love isn’t about performing—it’s about showing up as you are, without fear of abandonment. The calm you feel isn’t emptiness; it’s peace. So remember to allow yourself to express love in a way that is aligned with you.

2. Healing Happens in Relationship

   We often think we need to “fix ourselves” before being in love. The truth? Healing happens through connection too. When a partner listens, repairs, and accepts us, it rewrites old stories of love as unsafe. Secure bonds with our partners are proof that we don’t have to heal alone and that mutual love and acceptance can allow both of us to heal together.
   

3. Anxiety Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken

   Feeling anxious in love doesn’t mean you’re doomed—it means your nervous system is protecting you based on past pain. With awareness, therapy, and patient partners, those alarms quiet down. Slowly, your body learns that closeness doesn’t always end in loss—and that you can lean in, not just guard. You are capable of moving past the initial exciting but turbulent “butterflies in your stomach” phase to a shared sense of stability and familiarity.

A QUICK QUESTION…

When love feels calm and steady, your first reaction is… Vote here!

Last week, we asked you which “monster” visits your head most often, and the responses were… (drumroll please)…

With care and compassion,

The Social Therapist

P.S. Stability be like…