Managing Anger: Your Path to Peace

Hello! Welcome to another edition of the ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better mental health—one newsletter at a time. This week’s theme is Anger Management, a crucial topic that can help us all lead calmer, more fulfilling lives. We're bringing this to your inbox this Thursday to add some peace to your week.

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One relevant recommendation:

Practice Mindful Anger Management: Managing anger isn’t about suppressing it but understanding and channelling it effectively. Here’s how you can start:

• Identify Your Triggers: Pay attention to situations, words, or actions that tend to set off your anger. Knowing what triggers you is the first step in controlling your reaction.

• Pause Before Reacting: When you feel anger rising, take a deep breath and give yourself a moment before responding. This pause can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret.

• Express Yourself Calmly: Once you’ve calmed down, express your feelings without aggression. Use "I" statements to explain how you feel and why, rather than blaming others.

Two quotes on Understanding and Transforming Anger:

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a clinical psychologist and author of The Dance of Anger, emphasises the importance of recognising and understanding anger as a signal:

"Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to. Our anger may tell us that we are being hurt, that our rights are being violated, that our needs or wants are not being adequately met, or simply that something is not right."

Brené Brown, a research professor known for her work on vulnerability, shame, and empathy, cites the transformative nature of anger:

"Anger is a catalyst. Holding onto it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connections. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice."

Three TherapyShorts from TST

1. Recognise the Root of Your Anger: Often, anger is a surface emotion masking deeper feelings like fear, hurt, or frustration. For example, if you find yourself getting angry at your partner for being late, the real issue might be that you feel disrespected or unimportant. Recognising what’s truly bothering you can help you address the real issue rather than just the symptom, and help you understand and communicate your feelings better.

2. Healthy Outlets for Anger: Anger needs to be released but in a healthy way. Physical activities like running, swimming, or even punching a pillow can provide an outlet for pent-up frustration. For instance, instead of lashing out in a heated moment, you might take a brisk walk to cool down and think more clearly before addressing the situation. Sometimes a pause is all our nervous system needs to move from being “dysregulated”  to a calmer, more curious place (also called our Window of Tolerance).

3. Practice Forgiveness: Holding on to anger can be toxic, both mentally and physically. Learning to forgive—not just others but also yourself—can release you from the burden of anger. For example, if a friend has wronged you, consider whether holding onto that anger is worth the emotional toll it takes on you. Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the behaviour (or forgetting about it!); it means freeing yourself from the negative emotions tied to it that are likely weighing you down.

A QUESTION?

What are your go-to strategies for managing anger? Share your thoughts with us!

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Love and light,

The Social Therapist