Why adults need hobbies that they are "bad" at

Hello! Welcome to another edition of ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better mental health, one newsletter at a time.

As children, we played without worrying about results. As adults, we often stop unless we can excel. But what if being “bad” at something is actually good for us? This newsletter invites you to rediscover hobbies as a means to reclaim your inner world and spaces for rest and freedom to be yourself. 

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One relevant recommendation:

Identity-Free Hobby (15 minute activity)

Many of us unconsciously choose hobbies that still “fit” our identity, look impressive, productive, or are aligned with how we want to be seen. Eventually, our free time starts to feel like performance, and drains joy from play. The exercise invites you to step out of it slowly:

What is something I would try if no one could see the result? 

Write down 3 answers. If I couldn't post a photo or tell anyone about it, would I still find these satisfying? Choose one of your answers and try it for just 15 minutes this week. No improving, documenting or evaluating.

Two Quotes on the Magic of the Mess:

Alan Watts, philosopher and speaker, on the “point” of creative pursuits: 

“When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music, the playing itself is the point. And the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.”

Shunryu Suzuki, Zen monk and teacher, on the openness of not knowing:

"In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few."

Three TherapyShorts from TST:

1. Reclaim your inner child

   Many of us stopped playing when life became serious, stressful, or demanding. But playful parts of you didn’t disappear; they just went quiet. When we allow ourselves to be beginners, we are giving our inner child the permission to play that they were denied years ago. Low-stakes hobbies like singing badly, doodling messily, or trying something silly can reconnect us with our curiosity and lightness. What did you love doing as a child that you “outgrew”? Try a version of it again.

2. Playing without performing it

   Many adults don’t play anymore. We perform. Even hobbies start to feel like something we must be good at, improve in, or eventually monetise. Somewhere along the way, fun got tied to worth. Being “bad” at something can feel unsafe because it brings up old fears of judgement or failure. But safe play is where mistakes don’t cost us love, respect, or belonging. It teaches our nervous system that we’re allowed to explore without earning approval. Try one activity this week with zero intention to improve. Notice how it feels to not “optimise” or “perfect” it.

3. Being bad builds resilience

   When we let ourselves be clumsy, slow, or awkward at something new, we’re practising emotional flexibility. We are learning: “I can feel uncomfortable and still be okay.” This is a powerful skill. It softens perfectionism and reduces fear of failure. Over time, this makes us more resilient in relationships and work, too. What is one small thing you’ve avoided because you feared being bad at it?

A QUICK QUESTION…

What stops you from trying something new? Vote here!

Last week, we asked you what usually comes up underneath when you notice yourself sharing quickly, and the responses were… (drumroll please)…

With care and compassion,

The Social Therapist

P.S. It's okay to take your time :)

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