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- Why high-achievers feel like frauds
Hello! Welcome to another edition of ABC of Mental Health, your partner in the journey to better mental health, one newsletter at a time.
From the outside, high-achievers look confident, capable, and “sorted.” But inside, many are quietly waiting to be exposed, convinced that their success is accidental, temporary, or undeserved. If you’ve ever thought “Soon they’ll realise I’m not actually that good”, this edition is for you as we explore why impostor feelings show up most strongly in people who care deeply, work hard, and hold themselves to high standards.
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One relevant recommendation:
The Evidence vs. Fear Exercise (10-15 minute activity)
Impostor thoughts feel convincing because they sound like facts. This practice helps separate fear from reality.
Divide a page into two columns.
On one side, write: “What my fear says” (e.g., “I just got lucky”).
On the other side, write: “What the evidence shows” (degrees earned, feedback received, skills developed, effort invested).
Read both columns slowly.
You don’t need to eliminate self-doubt, just stop letting it be the loudest voice.
Two Quotes on Self-Doubt & Worth:
Maya Angelou, writer and poet, famous for her powerful storytelling regarding race, trauma, and identity once shared:
“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now.’”
Albert Einstein, physicist, Nobel laureate, and one of the most influential scientists of all time, reflected:
“The exaggerated esteem in which my life-work is held makes me very ill at ease.”
Three TherapyShorts from TST:
Impostor Syndrome Often Comes From Early Conditioning
In therapy, high-achieving clients often describe childhoods where praise was conditional, on performance, grades, or being “the responsible one”. Over time, worth became something to prove, not something to have. So even when success arrives, it doesn’t land. The bar keeps moving. Feeling like a fraud isn’t arrogance, it’s often the echo of early pressure to earn love through achievement.
Competence Brings Awareness, Not Confidence
One paradox I talk about often in sessions: the more skilled you become, the more you see what you don’t know. High-achievers mistake this awareness for inadequacy. But it’s actually a sign of growth. In contrast, overconfidence often belongs to those who lack insight. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean you’re unqualified, it means you’re reflective. Doubt, in this context, is not a flaw. It’s part of mastery.
Fear of Being Exposed Is Fear of Rest
Many clients feel they must stay busy, available, and over-prepared, because slowing down might reveal “the truth.” But what is the truth? That you’re human? That you need rest? In therapy, we work on separating identity from output. You are not your performance. You don’t become less legitimate when you pause. Real confidence grows when your nervous system learns that worth doesn’t disappear in stillness.
A QUICK QUESTION…
What do you usually tell yourself the most when self-doubt shows up? Vote here!
Last week, we asked you how you cope when the world feels overwhelming, and the responses were… (drumroll please)…
With care and compassion,
The Social Therapist
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